Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Randomize
