I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
