I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
