I want to stick my p in your. b.
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
