I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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