Define "chronic" masturbator.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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