Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
