Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
He has the fingertips of a God
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