Soap is not a condiment
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
