Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Randomize
