clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
