If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
she told me i tasted like america
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
