At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
