I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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