"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize