But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
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Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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