we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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