i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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