How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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