i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
