THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
