Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
