You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I party with great urgency now.
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