no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
need another drink. this is the easiest way
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
time to smoke my breakfast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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