i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Im part way to drunk.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
