so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
