haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
