4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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