Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
