Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
