I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
