I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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