Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
