i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
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