You're completely useless in the revolution.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
