glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
pop tarts are not kleenex
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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