Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
