Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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