I want to walk on stilts...naked
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
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