WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
