Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
