hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize
