Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
