The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
