He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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