looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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