I could make wine with my vomit
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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