i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
