I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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