Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
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