and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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