u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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