I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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