I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Randomize
