Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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