I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I love having hate sex.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize
