I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
