Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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