It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
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