Are we in a gay sports bar?
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Randomize
