Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Houston, we have a blender
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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