this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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