She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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