So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
She told me I should be a condom model.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
