I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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