So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
