his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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