Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
