around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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