yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
